Vila Baleira

There's something delightfully absurd-and yet undeniably appealing-about burying yourself neck-deep in Porto Santo's silky, golden sands, convinced you're about to be reborn healthier, younger, or at least slightly less cranky. Immersed beneath the sun-kissed grains of this idyllic nine-kilometer stretch-whose sands tradition proudly claims have cured ailments from arthritis to broken hearts-you'll sense history vibrating beneath your toes; after all, Christopher Columbus himself once called this island home, and who's to say he didn't indulge in an invigorating sand bath between his plotting and planning? For best results (and maximum smugness), arrive early morning, when the beach hasn't yet filled with bathers competing for their patch of miracle sand. Pack plenty of sunscreen, water, a floppy hat, and just enough skepticism to keep your wits about you, budgeting around €20 for a supervised session or absolutely nothing if going DIY with a friendly local tipping you off to a prime digging spot. Is basking in hot sand truly therapeutic? Maybe. Is the experience of turning yourself into a human croquette beneath the sun on a Portuguese island absolutely worth it for the story you'll recount for years afterward over drinks back home? Undoubtedly.

If strolling alongside a narrow irrigation channel full of flowing mountain water doesn't immediately scream adventure to you, then clearly you've never rambled Madeira's levadas-those marvelously stubborn, centuries-old canals hacked into cliffs by Portuguese masochists back in the 15th century. The star of this damp, slightly vertiginous show is undoubtedly the Levada Walk - 25 Fontes near Rabacal, a trail that whispers enchantingly along steep hillsides, past emerald-green ferns, mosses that seem older than civilization itself, and bursts of primordial mist so atmospheric you'll half-expect a hobbit to wander past. Aim to hit the trail early-around dawn if you can haul yourself from bed-both for the mystical solitude and to dodge hordes of selfie-stick wielding day-trippers later on. Budget about half a day and pack water, sturdy shoes, snacks, rain gear (because Madeira laughs at weather forecasts), and a fully-charged camera for the payoff: a cascade plunging dramatically into the crystalline lagoon below, fed by no fewer than twenty-five trickling fountains. Sure, it's crowded, slippery, and occasionally nerve-wracking, yet there's something undeniably satisfying about hiking an engineering miracle that pre-dates your great-great-grandparents. Besides, where else can you casually mention you spent your vacation following ancient ditch systems to a hypnotic waterfall-and actually make it sound glorious?

If your idea of golf conjures up stuffy clubs and pastel pants, Porto Santo Golf Course in Campo de Cima is ready to shake up your assumptions. Crafted by the legendary Severiano Ballesteros-whose name alone feels like it should lower your handicap-this jaw-droppingly scenic, slightly mischievous course sprawls across a windswept corner of Porto Santo island. Perched dramatically along the coastline, every fairway taunts you with shimmering ocean views and rugged cliffside hazards, ready to swallow your errant putts and dignity in equal measure. Book your tee time early, ideally in the crisp tranquility of morning, when the rising sun bathes the landscape in golden hues and you can smugly nod at less-motivated golfers still nursing their breakfast beers. Plan to schedule about two weeks in advance, especially in peak seasons, and brace yourself to part with roughly €90 for the privilege of losing balls amid such extraordinary beauty. Pack an extra sleeve of balls, sturdy shoes, and the humility to laugh at yourself-because here, the ocean breeze doesn't forgive arrogance. Ultimately, golfing at Porto Santo is worth every euro, even if you're just there to brag later over drinks about surviving an island course designed by the Spanish master himself.

Descending to Calhau da Serra Falls in Boaventura is the rugged Madeira adventure your Instagram followers secretly hope you'll regret, but you'll proudly-and smugly-boast about afterward. This hike isn't your manicured tourist jaunt; it's a sweaty, scrambly trek that makes Indiana Jones look like a Sunday stroller. The waterfalls, lushly tucked away behind moss-covered cliffs, remain one of Madeira's charmingly uncivilized secrets. Go early in the morning, ideally shortly after sunrise-both to beat the crowd and savor the soft golden glow that filters theatrically through the trees. Budget a solid half-day; bring sturdy shoes (leave flip-flops for less ambitious exploits), ample water, snacks, and a healthy dose of humility. Historically, Madeira locals whisper tales of pirates using these hidden falls to stash questionable loot-though, disappointingly, no rum barrels have surfaced yet. Even without hidden treasure, the prize awaiting at trail's end-a rushing cascade framed by emerald foliage-is refreshingly satisfying. So yes, you'll get muddy, sweaty, and possibly question your life choices mid-descent, but trust me: the bragging rights alone justify every slippery step.