Recife

Carnaval de Olinda isn't your packaged-for-tourists, politely choreographed street parade-it's more like Brazil's frenetic, slightly unhinged answer to Mardi Gras, if Mardi Gras woke up in a sun-bleached colonial town, ditched its beads, and donned a giant puppet head. Every February, Olinda-a UNESCO-blessed jewel of cobblestone streets and candy-colored buildings-erupts into joyous chaos, dominated by towering papier-mache figures called bonecos, which bob and weave through crowds to the brassy, frenetic rhythms of frevo music. Prepare to abandon dignity-it'll evaporate faster than your sunscreen under Pernambuco's relentless midday sun. Speaking of timing, have your caipirinhas chilled and your stamina primed; the best madness unfolds in the late afternoons into the shimmering dusk. Book your lodging at least six months ahead (no joke), budget generously for water, street snacks, and dancing shoes you'll ruin, and please, for the love of all that's rhythmically holy, pack sunscreen and cash. Even for the travel-weary cynic who thinks they've seen it all, Olinda's carnival is a delirious, sweaty spectacle worth the aching calves, ringing ears, inevitable hangover-and, of course, bragging rights of having danced with a fifteen-foot puppet version of Elvis.

Porto de Galinhas, a tropical gem in the otherwise unassuming town of Ipojuca, is the sort of beach paradise that would make even your most jaded Instagram friend jealous-though they'd likely pretend they're above posting about it. Renowned historically as a clandestine trading port (the innocent "Port of Chickens" was actually a sly codeword for smuggled slaves in colonial Brazil), today it's a haven for tourists splashing awkwardly around crystal-clear natural pools wedged among coral reefs, posing alongside startled fish that are probably wondering when their tranquil hideaway turned into selfie central. Your best bet is to hit the beach early enough in the morning-say around low tide at sunrise-to avoid the crowds, touts, and overly enthusiastic vendors hawking freshly cracked coconuts and seafood skewers. Plan ahead a couple of days for guided jangada (traditional sail raft) rides, and expect to spend around 150-200 reais ($30-$40) per person to get the full "I'm living a postcard" experience, complete with neon-colored flotation vests and the occasional suspicion that you've fallen into a well-orchestrated trap of tourism profiteering. Bring sunscreen, snorkeling gear, a sense of humor, and just enough cash for spontaneous indulgences-because you will cave to temptation. In short, visiting Porto de Galinhas is worth it, if only to boast later at a dinner party about the day you went swimming with fish who were undoubtedly judging your tan lines.

Praia dos Carneiros looks suspiciously like the tropical beach paradise you doodled on your algebra notebook instead of paying attention in school, minus the stick-figure pirates. Nestled in the easygoing town of Tamandare, this serene stretch of Brazilian coastline comes complete with coconut palms dramatically bent by nature-or perhaps too many caipirinhas-and crystalline waters so shamelessly clear they're practically bragging. Historically, Carneiros was once a sleepy fishing nook quietly minding its own business until someone noticed paradise could be monetized (surprise!), but despite recent buzz, it still offers moments when all you hear is the gentle lapping of waves and the distant whisper of samba drifting from a nearby beach shack. Aim for an early morning arrival to dodge the selfie-stick wielders; planning at least a month ahead will snag you pick-of-the-litter accommodations, and budgeting around R$150-200 per day ensures you indulge in fresh grilled seafood and ice-cold beers without remorse. Pack sunscreen, a hat, a good book, and just enough attitude to pretend the coconut water you're sipping straight from the fruit makes you authentic and not just another gringo beach bum. Why brave the heat, the crowds, and the occasional overpriced coconut? Because in a world hopelessly distracted by TikTok and WiFi, Praia dos Carneiros offers that rare chance to disconnect totally, just long enough to perfect your Brazilian tan lines-and, at the very least, come home with a salty, sun-kissed tale worth retelling over too many caipirinhas.