Mykonos

If you're ready to surrender your dignity-and several layers of skin-to the gods of indulgence, there's no better place than a luxurious Turkish and Ancient Greek bath ritual in Mykonos Town. Picture yourself sprawled out on warm marble slabs, steam billowing around you in a theatrically sultry haze, as an attendant armed with a coarse mitt channels millennia of cultural tradition (and maybe a touch of revenge) into scrubbing you vigorously to smooth, slippery perfection. Greeks and Turks have debated olive oil, yogurt, baklava, and even coffee, but at least they agree on this: a good scrub-down cures all ills, real or imagined. Book your bathing debauchery a few days in advance, aim for early evening to escape the island heat and prep yourself for nocturnal mischief, and budget around €80-€120 for the privilege of temporarily joining the ranks of ancient philosophers and Ottoman sultans alike. Bring flip-flops, a healthy tolerance for nudity, and a sense of humor-because nothing breaks the icy veneer of civilization quicker than being exfoliated within an inch of your life by a stranger. But trust me: afterwards, as you sip mint tea wrapped in a fluffy robe, skin as silky as Zeus's bedsheets, and ego freshly exfoliated along with your pores, you'll realize some stories are worth bearing a bit of naked indignity.